No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
