At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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