guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
