seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Houston, we have a blender
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
