I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
