i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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