I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
