I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
