They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
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I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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