I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
