So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Maybe he injected his testicle?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
