Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I AM VODKA MAN
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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