glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
