cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
