Screwed.edu
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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