he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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