if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
