i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize