Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
