some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
