Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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