I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
