I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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