Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
