Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
