I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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