quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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