Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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