the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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