Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
