Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
