no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
