did you get engaged???
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
