Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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