he shaved USA in his pubs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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