Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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