Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
