So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
