YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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