I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
