I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
wow bdsm is so cute
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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