we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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