im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
