Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
