brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I understand Curling. That high.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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