the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
