OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
