morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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