Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
