i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
