this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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