life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
