maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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