well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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