I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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